A little less than 50 things not to do at Hogwarts
by alyssialui
Summary: Sequel to 50 things not to do at Hogwarts. Everyones back and ready for the new school year and the new list :D
1. Prologue

**A/N: This was not said at the beginning of the story, but this is the sequel to ****_50 Things not to do at Hogwarts. _Although, this was started while that one was still going, it now comes together. So keep reading from this after finishing that one.**

**THIS IS AN UPDATE!! SO THOSE WHO HAVE ALREADY READ, DONT HAVE TO!!  
**

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**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Oct 20, 2006

_So here we are again, this is another glorious year at Hogwarts, the group now has to do do their NEWTs at the end of the year. Whoopee!! Only Herms ready already. The others still have to get through the school year. Get ready for another year of hilarity and merry-making, at the expense of the other inhabitants of the Hogwarts school. Watch out Howgarts, the Evil Enterprise is back in action. Muahahahah hahahah_

_Evil laugh over, back to the story._

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So after their summer of joy and wonderment and Draco's house, the group is now ready for their last year there.

Outside the Hogwarts Express:

Cathy: Ive only been here for one year, and now I have to leave it soon. This is so sad.

Harry: Don't worry, we can always visit this place and the professors.

Hermione: And Im sure Draco will invite us over his house again, won't you glare?

Draco: nervously Sure

Lianna: Or everyone could come to Florida with us

Shani: But what about your Voldemort thing??

Harry: Well Hogwarts is the safest place, what with both Gandalf and Dumbledore there. So its probably better to go back after school.

Lianna: Cmon guys, if we don't hurry they might just leave us here.

They got onto the train and found a compartment. Soon the train left the station and all of them took a nap to pass the time of the long journey.

When they woke up, the train was soon nearing Hogwarts, so they got out their uniforms and went to the stalls to change. When they got back, they odd things and just talked, read or played chess or exploding snaps until the train got to the Hogsmeade station.

They got out of the train onto the wet platform. It seemed to have rained but the teens hadn't noticed due to their nap. They walked over to the awaiting threstral-drawn carriages that took them up to the magestic stone-wall castle called Hogwarts.

They quickly got seated, Ron whining about how long the sorting was and it preventing him from eating. After the last boy was called (J. Paul Zimmermann from Return to Halloween Town), the food magical appeared on the plates, successfully shutting up Ron. They made small talk until the food disappeared. Dumby made the yearly announcement and welcome and bid the students good night.

With their full bellies, the group slowly went up to their common rooms, Harry kissing Luna good night at the fork in the hall. The prefect said the password and they quickly took up the good chairs in the common room. Shani said she was going to owl Draco and left them to their own devices.

Herm was wrapped in Ron arms, Ginny beside Neville, Cathy with Seamus over at the other side of the common room (she moved from the group over to Seamus) Shani with Dean. And the twins with the twins (they are still here for obvious reasons…I love them to bits) Although Harry wasn't wrapping up anyone now, he didn't mind. That doesn't mean he felt left out but he ignored it for now. They just sat in the warm heat of the fire until it was time for them to go bed for a busy day of school the next day.


	2. We're off to see the wizard

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Oct 21, 2006

**CHAPTER 1: WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD**

The group woke up, met up with their soulmates and went to the Great Hall for breakfast. Harry and Shani decided to sit with their boy/girlfriend so the others remained at the Gryf table. They ate breakfast and then Dumby announced.

"I would like to see the new students from last year and Harry Potter after their first class please. Thank you, that is all."

He sat back down and emitted a loud fart. Everyone looked at him but he seemed to not have heard it. He got up went to a door to the right of the Head Table. Everyone continued to stare at his chair and then the professors slowly moved away from it. It was forced silence until the first bell rang and everyone quickly evacuated the room.

They went to their first class of the year – Transfiguration for Shani (5th year now), Charms for Luna and Ginny and Potions for the others. They all went over swell but Neville still managed to do something wrong, losing 10 points for Gryffindor. The group met up back again in the hall and then Harry, and the girls decided to go see Dumbledore.

They walked silently until Aiden grabbed his hand and the other girls hands and started singing.

Aiden: We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz

They stared her like she was bonkers

Harry: Where did that come from

Aiden: A movie called the Wizard of Oz. These group of people went off to see and wizard and the girl started singing the song.

Lian: Can I be Dorothy

Aiden: No Im Dorothy, that's why I sung it first

They started arguing until

Shani: Guys, Guys, both of you can be Dorothy, I can be the Tinman who has no heart, Cathy can be the lion who has no courage and Harry can be the Scarecrow who has no brain

Harry: Hey, what are you trying to say??

Shani: Exactly what you think I am. Now lets go

They all relinked hands and sang the song until they got to the Gargoyle. They went through various candies, not knowing the password until Cathy said "3 Musketeers". The revolving stairs appeared and they quickly made their way up.

Harry: Yo Dumby, whats shakin??

Dumby: Nothing Harry, my favourite home slice. And you?

Harry: Nothing much. Just came from first class

Dumby: Solid. So why are you here??

Lian: Ummm sir you asked us to be here

Dumby: I did

Aiden: Yes

Dumby: What did I say after??

Cathy: Nothing which is why we're here

Dumby: Ahhh yes, now I remember. I asked you here because Voldemort has been getting stronger.

Harry: I know that's why Im here but why are they here?? They have nothing special

The girls: Hey!!

Dumby: On the contrary Harry, they are special. They have "magaical" powers

Harry: Ummm professor, everyone here has magical powers.

Dumby: You know what I mean

Harry: No I don't

Dumby: Yes you do

Harry: Sorry, don't

Dumby: THEYRE MOSRE POWERFUL THAN OTHERS YOU DUMBASS

Shani: Told you about the scarecrow thing.

Dumby: As I was saying, they have powers that very few do. They can help you with defeating Voldemort

Harry: Sorry, but Im a one-man hero. Thanks for the offer though

Dumby: Sit down Harry!! They are helping you and you will be grateful

Harry: Fine!!

Aiden: Ummm professor??

Dumby: Ya Foxy??

Aiden: Uhhh, Harry may have had point, we don't have any powers

Dumby: Weren't you listening 5 seconds ago??

Cathy: Not really

Dumby: Youre powerful and you will help young Mr. Potter here

Harry: grumbles

Shani: But we don't know what our powers are

Dumby: That's why Im here. I know Gandalf remember. I see him almost everyday

Lian: (whispers) In the mirror

Dumby: What was that??

Lian: Nothing

Dumby: Better be. Now we can begin training next week at the Quidditch pitch

Aiden: Why not tomorrow??

Dumby: Me, Gandalf and Count Olaf are getting our hair done, but he hasn't actually returned my calls. Ive left dozens of messages. Maybe I should send him an email or Fawkes

While Dumby continued to mutter to himself about his hair salon date, the teens quietly slipped out the room and rushed down the stairs out of the office

Harry: What bullshit!!! Now I have to save the world and babysit you brats!!

Lian: Lay off Harry. We're here to help

Harry: Help?? You cant help. You have no experience. Have you ever looked death in the face?? I have and it was ugly and snake-like. You cant help me

Cathy had enough. She grabbed Harry by his collar and slammed into the wall.

Cathy: Listen here. We're helping you whether we like or you like it. We have to save peoples lives. Now how Dumby told us, we cant do that unless we help you

Harry: I was doing just fine until you came along

Cathy: So you think. Maybe we should call Voldy now and find out what he thinks

Harry: No no no, Im not ready. My hairs a mess. I cant let him see me like this

Cathy: Good, now were helping and your gonna teach us. Kay??

Harry: Fine

She dropped him to the floor roughly. He got up, dusted off his shirt and went back to the common room, the girls trailing behind him chatting. When they got there, they told the others of the news. They were happy for Harry and the girls, although Harry wasn't. They then did their homework, Harry silently fuming, went to dinner and then slept.


	3. I am Prof Yoda Flitwick

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Oct 22, 2006

**CHAPTER 2: I AM PROFESSOR YODA FLITWICK**

So after getting up for their 2nd day of school, the group went down to eat. Today, they all decided to sit at the Gryffindor table. It took a little convincing to get Draco to sit with them. In the end, he took a place at the edge of the group's section.

Herm: Have you ever thought that Professor Flitwick looks an awful lot like Yoda??

Neville: You mean that green dude in the movie?? Ya, a little bit.

Herm: So… isn't it possible that he could be related to Yoda, maybe even be Yoda??

Draco: Isnt Yoda green??

Ron: How would you even know Ferret??

Draco: Well, Longbottom just said it Weasel. Also Ive watched Star Wars. Good movie

Seamus: Who would have thought?? Pureblood extraordinaire watching something known to most of the muggle world as a geeky movie

Herm: Back to the situation at hand, it is possible.

Fred: Do you have any proof??

Herm: Well no, but –

Cathy: Then we'll go get some proof

Lian: This should be fun.

They finished eating early. Seamus, Draco, Fred and George didn't want to go snooping around this early in the school year but they did ask to be updated if they found anything. Harry, Herm, Lian and Aiden decided to go search Flitwick's office for any clues. The others were going to think of ways to catch him in the act (if he even had an act). Herm suggested getting a book and finding out more about Yoda, but they put that as their backup plan. No one (besides Herm) wanted to spend their 2nd day in the library.

Harry PoV:

So after hearing Herm's hypothesis (oooh!! Big word) we left the Great Hall to search Flitwick's office. He wasn't there for breakfast so we were hoping he wouldn't be there, which was very unlikely. Oh well, we'll just have the to count on the Ol' Boy-Who-Lived luck to help out right??

We were in the hallway of Flitwick's classroom when we heard the door open. We quickly ducked behind a nearby tapestry as we saw Flitwick exit into the corridor. He looked up and down the corridor suspiciously as if he had heard us. He shrugged is shoulders and began walking this way. We all pressed our backs against wall. –this is horrible..Wait!! no its not. I'm in an enclosed space with 3 girls. This is wonderful. Oh no whats happening to me. God I hope they don't see that, good thing its dark back here.-

Flitwick finally passed the tapestry. We waited in silence for a few minutes to make sure he was far enough. I let the girls come out first, giving me a few seconds to get rid of my problem. They were dusting out their clothes (which really wasn't helping my problem)

Aiden: Harry, get out of there. We're on a mission

Lian: Ya, whats taking you so long??

Harry: Ummm… just a minute

They shrugged their shoulders and began walking down the corridor to the door. –I have to get rid of this. Think of Ron….ummm Rons mum…. Prof Snape… Umbridge. Aaaahhhh!! Finally. I guess the BWL luck really does work. Why doesn't it work when Im up against Voldy?? Maybe it only works for things like sneaking around- I quickly ran up to catch up with them outside the door.

Herm: So what took you??

Harry: Oh…ummm.. I got my foot…stuck in a hole in the wall

Aiden: They really should get those holes filled

Lian: That wasn't the worst thing. My hand was by my waist and I felt this really hard thing like a door knob or something

Harry: Well…that's just what it was…a doorknob, a really hard doorknob

Herm: Remember guys we're on a mission

They opened the door into the room. It was empty as everyone was still at breakfast. They walked pass the desks and Flitwick's and over to a portrait of the side of the room. Herm said that it would have Flitwick's chambers behind it.

The portrait was of outer space, showing few constellations. You could distinctly see Sirius and Draco and Virgo and Donner and Blitzen.

Herm: Harry, snap out of it. Now this is obviously evidence

Harry: Hermione, anyone could use an obvious galaxy portrait, completely with a zooming star cruiser, as their entrance

Lian: Harry's right

Harry: I am

Lian: Maybe he just likes Astronomy

Herm: Fine then. But we still need a password

Aiden: Umm…Flitwick rules

Harry, Herm, Lian: o.O

Aiden: What?? Got any better ideas??

Harry: Ummm..Charms

Lian: Wingardium Leviosa

Herm: Master Yoda

The star cruiser zoomed right pass the edge of the portrait, causing the picture to be filled with smoke. The portrait then opened inside.

Herm: See

Harry: That proves nothing. Step aside ladies. Let the man go through first

Harry pushed pass the girls and entered the dark room. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Herm turned on the light so it was only Aiden

Aiden: You should have seen your face

Harry: Ya ya, whatever. So where do we look first??

Herm: Ummm…his bedroom!!

Harry: Kinky

None the less, they went into Flitwicks bedroom. It was decorated with tons of Star Wars posters and had an assortment of light sabers on a rack on the far wall. The ceiling was charmed to look just like the portrait and the star cruiser zoomed across it.

Herm: Do you believe me now??

Harry: (ignoring her) Way cool!! Light sabers!!

He grabbed some and tossed them to the girls. They spent a few minutes having a mock battle, with Harry dying many times.

Herm: Hmmm, now we need a camera

Aiden: Here you go

Lian: Whered you get that??

Aiden: I found it on the dresser. See, it says "Property of Yoda Flitwick"

Herm: Excellent, this is even more proof. Gimmee

Herm started snapping away at the walls of the room. She also took some shots of the others goofing around.

Herm: Cmon, we have to get out of here. Classes are starting soon and Flitwick might come back

Harry: Awww!! But I wanted to play with the pretty sword

Herm: Maybe if you ask nicely, Flitwick will let you borrow it

Harry: Yay!!

They straightened up the room to the way it was and quickly came out. The classroom was still empty so they quickly ran down the aisle to the door. They almost reached when they saw the handle turning "Quick hide". They scrambled under the desk as the door opened to reveal the professor.

Harry: Ah hah!! We know who you are??

Prof Flitwick: I am??

Herm: You're Yoda

Prof Flitwick: Oh..no you don't understand

Harry: Oh we understand perfectly. Umm guys… what do we understand??

Aiden: For starters, youre really Yoda

Lian: You collect tons of Star Wars merchandise

Harry: You have cool light sabers!! By the way can I borrow one?? Please, pretty please??

Herm: You wrote "Yoda Flitwick" on your stuff

Prof Flitwick: If you children would just let me explain. Yoda is my twin

The teens: What!!!

Prof Flitwick: Ya. He's my twin brother. We both trained and I can do everything he can but I decided to teach Charms while he trains Obiwan. From time to time, he calls on me to help with his training. He doesn't anything about Charms though so he cant really returned the favour.

Herm: So why is your name Yoda??

Prof Flitwick: Well, as you can see from the movie my brother starred in, and I did some stunt work, we are not of this planet. On our planet, Yoda is the family name.

Aiden: Oh, what about your green skin??

Prof Flitwick: It's a glamour so I can fit in with the humans

Harry: Oh that explains it. So what about that light saber??

Prof Flitwick: No Harry, I cant let you borrow it

Harry: What!! Im Harry fucking Potter!! I get whatever I want. How dare you deny me?? Crucio

Herm: Harry!! You just performed an Unforgivable on a teacher

Harry: What!! He deserved it

Aiden: For not giving you a light saber

Harry: Well yeah

Lian: I thin youre hanging around Malfoy too much

Harry: No Im not. How dare you?? Cru-

Herm: Harry, no!! Now we are going to leave the scene of the crime. Hopefully you wont go to Azkaban for this. I simply don't have the time to visit you there

Harry: Why, are you going to be too busy snogging Ron to care about your best friend whos rotting in jail??

Herm: Harry, How dare you!! Crucio

Aiden: You two are crazy!!

Lian: AAAHH!!!

The twins ran out of the room, leaving a dueling pair of friends and an unconscious Flitwick lying on the floor. They ran into the others.

Ron: Sorry, we didn't find anything that could link the two

Ginny: Though we did find out how to take out Obiwan

Neville: Ya, that was interesting

Ginny: And don't forget the free chocolate chip cookies they were giving out in the Great Hall

Ron: Yumm

Lian: Didn't you see us running to you screaming??

Ron: Ya. And??

Aiden: Harry and Herm are fighting in the Charms classroom

Neville: Lets go get front seats

Lian: No, we need you to help us stop them

Ron: Oh fine. Just spoil our fun.

They ran back to the classroom to find the three living creatures unconscious on the floor

Ron: You see what you did with all your chatting?? We missed everything.

Lian: Just shut up and help us carry them to the Hospital Wing.

Lian and Aiden carried Flitwick, Ron and Neville carried Harry and Ginny struggled with Herm to the common room. After depositing them on beds for Mme Pomphreys care, the twins told the others what they found out

Ron: So Yoda has a brother??

Ginny: Flitwick is really green??

Neville: There were light sabers!! Cool!!

They stayed there with their unconscious friends until the bell rang. They were supposed to be in Charms but because of the teacher's current condition, they doubted there would be class. Instead they went outside by the Lake and talked. Then they went to class and they continued as normal as possible.

Herm PoV:

After Lian and Aiden shouted at us and ran out of the room, I had to dodge another Crucio from Harry. You know those things fucking hurt. Harry was getting just as many though. I'm not the smartest witch for nothing. Then Harry said something unexpected in his obvious fit of rage and madness.

Harry: And to think I got a boner for you 15 mins ago?? Then again it wasn't just you

Herm: What are you talking about??

Harry: Im talking about what help me up behind the tapestry. Doorknob my ass.

Herm: Eeeww. Gross Harry. Didn't need to know that piece of information.

Harry: I know that you didn't need to know but now Ive gotten exactly what Ive wanted

Herm: What is that??

Harry: This

Harry ran straight at me and planted his lips on me. He held my face in place as a tried to push him off. I finally had enough and sent a curse, forcibly pushing away and slamming him into the wall. I felt what I was sure were my bruised lips.

Herm: How dare you??

Harry: How dare YOU reject me?? The Almighty Harry Potter?? The Boy-Who-Lived?? You will pay for that

He sent a silent spell at me and I quickly said one as well. The spells met in midair, causing a huge explosions that pushed us both back. I slammed into a wall and slid down. I could feel the blood escaping from the back of my head and them darkness.

Few hours (like in the night)

Herm: Where am I??

Harry: Glad to see youre awake?? We're in the glorious Hospital Wing. Seems our little spat landed us here

Herm: Do you even remember what happened during the fight??

Harry: Yes I do. Another, but much less, episode happened when I woke up and Mme Pomphrey came in. She told me I have something called "skizo-frenia" and its not good. It developed from being exposed to Voldy more than the average person should. She also said the others came to visit us but we were both still knocked out

Herm: So what are you gonna do about your problem??

Harry: She says I have to come here every other day and she'll help me. A professional might even come once or twice

Herm: Youre taking this very well

Harry: Well I have to. She drugged with some potions and right Im strapped down to the bed but its so dark, you cant see

Herm: Oh well, I hope you get

Harry: I hope so too. Its not the best feeling to know I did terrible things to my friend. What if it had been Luna??

Herm: Then shed have dumped your ass

Harry: Oh and Im sorry about the crucios …and the kiss. Mme Pomphrey said I seriously hurt them more than I meant to

Herm: (slyly) You meant to??

Harry: I mean… I didn't mean to but they got hurt.

Herm: Youre forgiven. Im sorry for sending crucios your way

Harry: You were only trying to defend you self from the crazy Boy-Who-Lived. No biggie

Herm: Oh you

Herm got up from her bed to hug Harry, as he couldn't get up. She had her arms around his neck and was about to let up when he suddenly and roughly grabbed her wrist

Herm: Aah!!

Harry: Sorry bout that. Pomphrey says sometimes Ill have small relapses

Herm: Reasons for the restraints

Harry: Mme Pomphrey the medicines wearing off

After Mme Pomphrey gave Harry more of the potion and looked over Herm, Herm went back into her bed and fell asleep. Harry couldn't exactly fall asleep so easily (he was uncomfortable, the restraints cut into his wrists) but he eventually he became too weary.


	4. Its Fluffys Feeding Time

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Oct 23, 2006

**CHAPTER 3: ITS FLUFFYS FEEDING TIME**

After Harrys little episode, he spent a few days in the Hospital Wing. Mme Pomphrey would sit down with him and talk out his problems. He also told Mme Pomphrey about the time he lashed out at the girls at the start of school (which was like 2 days before) He sometimes lashed out at her but she was prepared and he was quickly stunned afterwards. Just before he was let out, a professional by the name of Dr. Clark Kent came and examined him. He just advised Mme Pomphrey to do the same things every other day and he would come back in a month's time.

Now it was time for the training with the new students with Dumbledore. The girls aided Harry for he had a little trouble walking properly (mental problems) down to the Quidditch Pitch for their first training session.

Dumby: Yo yo ma peeps whats up?? Harry, why you walking with a limp??

Harry: Im mental. Didn't you know??

Dumby: Of course. Everyone already knew that but why start with the limping now??

Harry: Well I found it was an actual illness so im recovering now. My first real episode that I almost hurt someone was right outside your office yesterday.

Dumby: Really. I didn't hear anything out of the ordinary.

Aiden: Uhh..taht brings up a point, how come you didn't hear anything?? I mean Harry was shouting really loudly

Harry: Hey!!

Dumby: I did.

Cathy: You just said you didn't

Dumby: I lied. After hearing the screaming, I just decided to block it. I just thought he was having another hero-rant. Who really wants to listen to that all the time?? Ive had more than enough of those

Harry: (verge of tears) But I thought you cared about me??

Dumby: No I don't really care, you stupid child, I just have to act like it. Now, today we're going to cover basic dueling techniques. Next session we'll practice with the girls powers.

After hushing Harry so he could work, the session went on with Dumbledore dueling each one in turn, pointing out faults and making comments while the others either watched or practiced for themselves. Afterwards, the teens were all tired.

Harry: Ugh that was painful!!

Lian: Lets go back to the common room

They helped Harry again to the common room where they all just collapsed on the couches

Ginny: What the hell happened to you guys??

Aiden: Thanks for the support Ginny. Youre a big help. Now get us something to drink

Herm: Why are you guys so tired??

Shani: Well weve just come back from our training with Dumbledore

Cathy: Let me tell you, not fun

Ginny came back with some water and gave each one a glass. They soon were able to sit up straight and have a proper conversation.

Harry: So whats on the pranking list for today??

Shani: I could really use a good laugh

Neville: Well (pulls out list) we could do #3

They all took a look at the paper

Ron: Excellent but whos going to do it??

Harry: Not us. As much fun as it sounds, we're in no condition.

Ginny: I will

Neville: And me

Herm: So where will the rest of us be??

Aiden: Lets do it out by the lake. The rest us can sit under the tree out there

Cathy: Lets go!!

So they got into position with Ginny and Neville by the front doors of the courtyard and the rest a few feet away under the shade of a tree by the lake.

Ginny and Neville first run up to a group of first-years

Ginny: Hey, do you guys want to do us a favour??

First-year #1: What??

Neville: You have to agree to it first

Ginny: You wont be disappointed

First-year #2: Whats in it for us??

Ginny: You'll find out when you say yes

They agreed wearily.

Neville: Ok, good. Now this is what we need help with. You know Hagrids pet, Fluffly??

First-years: No

Ginny: You don't!! Well he's Hagrid dog. You know the one that he keeps in his hut and sometimes brings to class (she knows this is wrong. She just wants to trick them)

First-years: (nod)

Neville: Yeah, well its his feeding time and Hagrid asked us to get some volunteers

Ginny: Who wants to help out??

Neville: You get house points

Smart-ass first-year #1: But I heard from my brother than Hagrids dogs named Fang not Fluffly

Ginny: That's his other dog. The one you see all the time is Fluffy

Smart-ass first-year #2: But I read in Hogwart: A History (which updates itself) that Harry Potter had to get past Fluffy in his first-year. And that Fluffy was a 3-headed dog.

Other first-years: (gasp)(tremble with fear)

Neville: Don't listen to her. She doesn't know what shes talking about

Ginny: Shes right Neville. Don't lie to these little first-years. Weve already done enough of that

Neville: Fine youre right Ginny. We can at least tell them the truth

Ginny: The truth is that…yes, Fluffy is this huge 3-headed dog and also…that it's the first-years mandatory duty to feed him

First-year #1: But I thought we were volunteering

Ginny: Don't you remember we were lying then!! Like I was saying, its your duty to feed Fluffy

Neville: Come along with us. We'll show you how.

So they led the first-years to the edge of the lake, which was a little closer to the rest of the group. They were already laughing at the lies Ginny and Neville told the first-years and the fact that most of them looked like they actually believed them. What gullible firsties.

Neville: Ok, so you just stand here like so (he began spacing them evenly around the edge of the lake, they are facing the lake) Fluffy doesn't like to see much physical contact

Ginny: And here you go. Hold out these chicken legs. I think that's what Hagrid said hes eating today. Right Neville??

Neville: Rigth Ginny. Now we'll just stay over this side. You have to get the hang of it.

They walked over so they were right next to the group without making the movement look intentional. Ginny whispered "Now Mione". Herm conjured an animal from her wand. It was a Ceberus to resemble Fluffy, since they very well couldn't get the real one from Hagrid without telling him a reason. The creature had everything the original had, from its 3 snarling jaws to awful bad breath and backside. The copy walked over to where it smelled the food.

Herms version was not meant to actually harm the children. Maybe give them a mild bite or 2 but nothing to get them in the Hospital Wing for something serious.

As the creature neared the children, they turned around out of curiosity. They saw the massive dog-like creature approach them hungrily. They all had the same thought to run like chickens but they were all too scared to act. The group broke out laughing when 2 boys pissed their pants out of fright. The creature hadn't even gotten to them.

The creature sniffed the air, as its eyesight wasn't that good in the daylight. It went towards the chicken smell and each head ate leg after leg until all the hands were empty. The creature was still hungry and gave a low growl. This frightened the firsties more, causing most to start crying. The group just sat under the safety of the shady tree laughing their heads off as the creature suddenly focused its eyes (all 6 but on different children.; there are about 10-15 kids) on the food-givers. It began nudging the hands but they remained empty. This started to get the creature angry and it began snapping at their hands. Some got bites and all of them then quickly ran back to the castle wailing and shouting.

The group was still laughing, especially at the one who tripped while he was running. Herm whistled and the creature came back to her and heavily sat down beside the group

Herm: Hey Caleb!!

Ginny: That's a cool pet

Herm: I know, but hes not really real. He can disappear into thin air. I have to say a spell to get him back again. But he behaves just like a real Ceberus, eats and everything

Ron: Ill say (as Caleb just farted)

Shani: Eww

Harry: Well I must say, that was hilarious

Ginny: Telling those lies were fun.

Cathy: They are so gullible

Herm made Caleb disappear (Bye Caleb!!) and the group went to the dinner. They did little homework (except for Herm and Lian because she got an extra assignment from that bastard Snape) because it was Saturday and stayed up goofing off.


	5. Is it that time of the month again?

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Oct 27, 2006

**CHAPTER 4: IS IT THAT TIME OF THE MONTH AGAIN??**

After that obvious lying, Harry went to Mme Pomphrey for his therapy. He did some simple exercises and confessions and only lashed out once. This was an improvement

Pomphrey: Soon you might not need the therapy anymore Mr Potter

Harry: Alright!!

Pomphrey: You may leave

He quickly left (as fast as he could) to the Gryffindor common room. When he got there, he saw the others there and Luna. He quickly went over to her and gave her a mind-blowing kiss

Luna: What was that for??

Harry: Im official declared half-cured

Everyone: Yay!!

Harry: Well now Im off to bed

Luna: But its only 7:-

Harry: Good night all

Luna: I cant wait till he completely cured

Everyone: Ya

The next day was a Saturday. Everyone quickly ate breakfast and they went outside to it under a tree enjoying the company of their friends and others, engaging in little conversation. Then they saw Lupin on the horizon

Harry: Oy Lupin, over here

Remus: Hey kids, whats up??

Harry: Nothing much

Lian: Harrys been declared half-cured from his mental problem

Harry: Isnt it great??

Remus: Wait…since when did he have a mental problem??

Harry: Poppy says since August though it first exploded during the first week of school

Remus: Oh

Harry: so what are you doing here??

Remus: Well, I was going to go see Dumby about strengthening the wards around the Order Headquarters but I was…feeling a little ill. I thought id come out for some fresh air.

Harry: Oh, is it that time of the month again?? Don't worry I get it too. Just make sure no one sees the (whispers) pads, and youll be fine

Remus: Not that problem, my other problem.

Harry: What other problem?? You just told us, youre having your period

Remus: No Im not

Harry: Yes, you are

Remus: Men don't have periods

Harry: But youre not a man now are you??

Remus: How dare you accuse me of my sexuality??

Harry: Well you did visit us last year with your lover, my godfather, Sirius Black.

Remus: How dare you bring up my man??

Harry: No how dare you question me?? Im always right. You're just a gay werewolf with a period problem. Get out of my sight

Remus: No. Not after you just dissed me and humiliated me.

Harry: Then prepare to feel my wrath

Harry began firing spell after spell at Remus, some silly, some deadly. Remus expertly dodged the majority but was hit with a few Crucios and Reductos. The group quickly sprung into action after watching a few minutes of this interesting duel and got a big bag. They then ran up behind Harry and threw bag over his head, intent on carrying him to the Hospital Wing.

Herm: Lupin!! Don't worry!! He'll be back to normal in no time

Lian: And don't worry, no one heard of your little secrets

Aiden: No one that didn't already know

Cathy: Except our boyfriends

Shani: But we'll handle them

Ron: Don't worry

Neville: Lets go. He's starting to squirm and he's really heavy

Luna: Just when he was starting to get better

Harry: GUYS!! IM FINE REALLY!! I JUST WANT TO HAVE A FRIENDLY CHAT WITH LUPIN!! LET ME OUT!! PLEASE!??!


	6. Gotta catch 'em all

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Nov 3, 2006

A/N: Hey guys!! Just saying hi to all my readers and I wanted to change something. Cathy will be paired with Oliver instead of Seamus. Not much change but it will sort of be explained why in my other parallel story "50 Things not to do at Hogwarts - the story".

**CHAPTER 5: GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL**

After Harry was admitted to the hospital again for his relapse, he had to stay there for about a week.

Harry: Im fine really. It was nothing more than terms of endearment

Pomphrey: I said shut up before I have to stick this needle up your ass!! (that comin from a school nurse, shame!!)

In the meanwhile, the others were still getting into mischief. It wasn't as fun without Harry (Ron: I miss howd hed laugh when nothing was funny; Everyone: Yeah) but they promised themselves to act as if nothing was wrong.

So it was Care of Magical Creatures. Luna and Ginny had a free session so they went down with the group to their class. They met up with the rest of the class and Hagrid by the Black Lake.

Herm: Remember last year when we saw the crocagator??

Ron: How do you remember something from last year?? I don't even remember what I ate for breakfast

Ginny: That's because you eat too many things to remember

Lian: The crocagator…I remember that. It was fun except for when I got muddy

Shani: Hey!! Maybe that was one of the powers Dumby was talking about.

Lian: Hmmm could be. We'll see at our next training session

Neville: When is that by the way?? I wanna see too

Aiden: Well I guess we have to wait until Harrys out of the Hospital Wing. We cant train without him so..ya

Hagrid: CLASS CLASS, LISTEN UP!! Well 2dai well b lukin 4 sum mermaids. They usually stay at the bottom of the lake but if we put some bread crumbs at the top, it will lure them. Now take some crumbs from the box here and throw on the water.

The class did so and few mermaids came up. Hagrid began explaining more facts to the class and the students got to interact with the water-dwellers. The bell rang and the students said bye to Hagrid and the mermaids and made their ways back up to the castle…except for the Evil Enterprise (working title :D)

Ron: Hey Hagrid

Hagrid: Hey guys. Wats up??

Lian: Well we came to talk with you

Hagrid: Hey…wheres Harry?? Usualli hes here wid u

Aiden: Well hes in the Hospital Wing

Hagrid: wat 4?? Quidditch season hasn't evn started

Cathy: Well hes mentally retarded

Shani: But in a good way

Hagrid: How can u b retarded in a gud way??

Herm: He just is Hagrid. But right now hes there getting "help"

Hagrid: Ahhh…nething else??

Aiden: Ya. We wanted to show these animals

Shani: Ya since youre such an expert and all

Lian: You should know what these animals are

They took out a box and took out what appeared to be a playing card. The decoration on the back read the word "Pokemon". They took the top card and showed it to Hagrid.

Cathy: See, this is a Charizard

Hagrid: Ive neva seen an animal like this b4

Lian: That's because they mostly live in Japan

Aiden: Muggles print the image of the animal on these cards and use them

Hagrid: But this is so badli drawn. And wat r hitpoints??

Shani: well…in the card game, you use the hitpoints to say whether your animal dies or not (in not so many words)

Hagrid: But I read books

Herm: (thinking) Really?? Cant beat me though

Hagrid: - and Ive neva seen animals that luks like those

Lian: They resemble real animals though like… Squirtle. He looks like a turtle and he has water powers, so hes a Squirt-le.

Hagrid: Wat bout dis one called a Ditto?? He don't luk like ntn

Aiden: well hes the exception. Muggles have mad science labs and create hybrids. Dittos can change into another animal.

Shani: Apparently this one has some magical properties

Lian: Ya… he can change into another animal so hes "ditto". Get it now??

Hagrid: Wow!! Dis is so cool. Where can I get these animals??

Aiden: Well like we said, theyre in Japan so theyd most likely be there

Lian: I don't think they can live in places as cold as Scotland (that's where Hogwarts is right??)

Hagrid: Well thn I gotta get me some of these

As he ran into his house, speed-packed and ran in the direction of Hogsmeade, Cathy shouted "The correct phrase is "GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL"

Back with Harry:

Harry: Yuck this is nasty. Your face is nasty. Why cant I get out of this hell hole

Pomphrey: Now Mr. Potter you will drink and you will like it. Do you want me to force it down or throat. Or we could the muggle method of a suppository.

Harry: NOOOOOO!! Fine then

Harry: -gulp-

Harry: Why Mme Pomphrey. Youre looking quite ravishing this afternoon. How bout going with a guy like me?? –eyebrow wiggle here-

After Mme Pomphrey took out her wizard-equivalent of a stun guy (taser), she waited for the potion to take effect (to knock him out) and then went to her office.

**CHAPTER 6: BURN!!**


	7. BURN!

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

**Nov 12, 2006**

**CHAPTER 6: BURN!!**

Harry finally got out. Hes now on a very strong medication that he has to take every hour or he'll have relapses. Sometimes he "accidentally" forgets and is force-fed the pills through a straw by Lian, Aiden and the scary Cathy. But what are you gonna do when you have a psychopathic friend??

It was potions class with Gryffindors-Slytherins. Snape was still in his grumping mood since the summer (Ron: Bet you he didn't get any; Harry: What else is new??) and was ready to take it out on his eager students.

Snape: I hope all you dunderheaded Neanderthals (sp) did some reading over the summer. Since I know that hope is a wasteful emotion, I will just pretend that you all have and give this work to do. It will be collected at the end of class and graded, which is about 1 hour. The instructions are on the board. You may begin when I said dunderheaded Neanderthals.

The students quickly got work on a potion they had never even thought existed but they hoped for the best. After making sure Harry took the pill (Harry: NEVER!!; Cathy: Do you want me to hurt you again??; Harry: No), they made their way over to the supplies cupboard to begin.

Nearing the end of the session, Snape began patrolling around the cauldrons, sneering into few and grimacing at others. He came up to the groups' starting with Harry's.

Snape: Potter, what is this??

Harry: It's a cauldron

Snape: Its an F. Clean it up

Herm: Sir, its not Harrys fault. He all drugged out from medication. He cant see straight

Snape: Well excuse me for Potters misfortune but this is wrong. Double F.

Lian and Aiden: Burn!!!

Snape: Mr. Weasley, this potion should be a turquoise blue. This is clearly seafoam green. Did you remember to add the batwings before the powdered worm??

Ron: Well Sir, the supplies cupboard was out and –

Snape: F Mr. Weasley

Lian and Aiden: Burn!!!

Snape: Ms. Granger, this potion is perfect. Ive never seen another perfect potion like this unless I made it. Get rid of it.

Herm: But Sir –

Snape: Its obvious you cheated. With you big hair, it wouldn't be hard to hide some sort of cheating device. There is no way a student could match, even come close. So you get an F for cheating.

Lian and Aiden: Burn!!

Snape: Ms. Lewis and Ms. Lewis, why do you insist on aggravating the last nerve I have in my body

Lian: Oh Sir, we weren't trying to aggravate you

Aiden: Youre not important enough to deserve our attention.

Lian: youre not worthy

Aiden: But you can become worthy

Lian and Aiden: Bow down before us!!

Snape: Who do you think you are, ordering me around??

Lian: We are your masters!!

Aiden: We control you

Lian: Where do you think "Lord Voldy" gets his ideas??

Aiden: We are the real rulers

Lian: Hes just the cover girl

Aiden: So bow down or else

Lian: All of you

The students (esp. Slytherin half) in fear began bowing (We are not worthy; Lian: That's right. You know your place) but Snape was still adamant.

Snape: Prove it to me first.

Aiden: Fine then. Azarath

Lian: Metrios

Lian and Aiden: Zinthos

A black light engulfed Snape and he exploded into a million pieces of guts and cotton??

Lian: Whered the cotton come from??

Aiden: How should I know you're the smart one.

The students looked up from bowing at the destruction of the Potions Master. They were still in shock when

Harry: Snape is dead. Its Naked Time

Everyone else: NOOO!!!!

Herm: Dumby did that last year

Harry: Ok then. Party time

And they partied in the classroom, went through Snapes stuff (Hey!! I found an inflatable doll) and drank whiskey.

Somewhere in Antartica:

Snape: -thinking- Here I am freezing my nuts off in Antartica in my boxers. How can this get any worse.

The ice begins to crack around him and a group of penguins start to come from all directions.

Snape: I had to ask


	8. Watch Out! Axed Maniac on the loose!

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Nov 17, 2006

**CHAPTER 7: WATCH OUT!! AXED MANIAC ON THE LOOSE!!**

The gifted students had another training session with Dumbledore where they began to test the girls' powers. Since I don't want to go into detail now (if you want me 2, message me and I will) lets just say that Cathy is super strong and controls fire (but not create it). Lian and Aiden control water and air respectively and Shani controls earth. Harry has some control over lightning and electricity that could be stronger once he gets completely healed.

It was a rainy day but the students of Hogwarts continued their lessons none the less and to the best of their abilities. They went to lunch and dinner on time and then went to bed on time too like good like children. –record scratch- WHAT AM I SAYING!!! What really happened is most failed. Some skulled classes and meals and they all went to bed late because they were drinking and doing drugs. Much better.

When they all did finally went to bed, one lone student got out of bed and went to Dumbledores office ("Skittles!! Taste the rainbow!") and went up the revolving stairs. Dumby was also in bed, so the student snuck over to the cabinet and took out Gryffindors sword. (HAHA!! It mine. Wonder what damage I can do with this) He snuck back out of the office and made his way back to the dormitories.

He snuck up on a sleeping body tangled in the sheets before he positioned himself perfectly above it. His ragged breathing harsh with anticipation. How he long to just sink the sword into the flesh below but he couldn't do it just yet. Of course the screams would excite him but it would also wake others and stop his fun. Was one body worth the lost of many?? After contemplating this, the student lowered the sword down.

The sword was off target though as the body rolled over facing the perpetrator. It went through the area of the bed which was now in the arch of his stomach. The culprit tried in vain to pull out the sword without waking his victim but couldn't. The tugging on the sheets did awaken the sleeper though.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Harry had a manic gleam in his eye. He just wasn't himself. Being hopped up on medication and having split personalities can do that to a person. Of course Poppy warned him he might crack and told him of what he should do but he ignored her. He kept what he could remember she said to himself so no one else even knew something like this would have happened.

The victim was none other than Seamus Finnagan, resident Gryffindor of the Gryffindor 7th year dorms (of course). He had felt the presence of a body looming above him but ignored it, not knowing that his was in danger at the time. Now that he could easily see the image of Harry Potter sketched across the lightning-lit ceiling poised with the sword in his hands, he could only jump to conclusions.

He jumped out the bed and away from his could-be murderer. His panicky screaming awoke many others, firstly the others in the dormitory. Harry just stood still, fearful what might happen but not sure of what to do next (he didn't think out the plan thoroughly).

Neville jumped out of the bed, knowing partly a reason for this occurrence. Harry saw the movement towards him though and aimed the sword at his friend.

Neville: Harry, calm down. Put that back and lets go down to the Hospital Wing

Harry: No no. That's what they all say. Im not letting you take me there

Neville: Its not bad Harry. Ive been there all the time

Harry: No you don't know what youre talking about. You don't know what she does to me

Neville: What does she do to you??

Harry: Its like torture. You wouldn't understand I just cant go back. Youll never get me there alive.

He made run for it and escape from Neville. Other boys from other dormitories rushed out to find out the problem. A freaky-looking first year screamed out "AXED MANIAC ON THE LOOSE" This caused everyone to get into a frenzy which Harry used to his advantage. He used the sword to clear a path in the sea of teens and ran down the stairs of the dorms.

His mind racing on where to go next, amidst the screaming and commotion, he paused in his escape. He then thought of running out of the castle and maybe into the Forbidden Forest where they wouldn't be able to find him. Maybe he could live off the few berries and fruit trees in there.

He ran to the portrait, not before hearing some familiar voices scream out his name. The rational side of him that was right now buried deep inside, wanted to turn around to ask them for help but his psycho side was currently controlling his legs and thoughts.

He ran down the corridors, making wrong turns and going in circles. He heard the shouts again but the psycho only thought of them as being the "men in white coats" trying to take him back so he ran harder. His legs couldn't go any longer so he ran behind a suit of armor. The group of teens stopped right by the armor.

Herm: Ugh!! Whered he go??

Ron: He just turned around the corner. Its like he vanished

Neville: Cmon we have to find him

Herm: Neville, what exactly did he say??

Neville: Stuff like that Poppy tortures him and that he doesn't like the Hospital Wing

Lian: That's obviously signs of a crazy person

Aiden: Indeed

Herm: Guys, this is no time for jokes. Lian, Aiden, Ginny you go back in that direction. Maybe he doubled back and we didn't see.

The girls split off and the others were about to go down the corridor when Harry was trying to make another run for it. The armor dropped to the floor, causing the teens to turn around. Using her quick thinking, Herm casted the body-bind charm on him. His body felt with a thud, the sword laying beside him.

The next day:

Harry awoke in the Hospital Wing with the equivalent of a swimming pool-size-induced hangover. He remembered bits and pieces of his escapade the night before. A pensieve record was shown to him by Poppy taken by him and Herm. He had to stay in the Hospital Wing for some time after, where he was put into medicated comas and administered daily injections.


	9. Calculus and Arithmancy

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Nov 19, 2006

**CHAPTER 8: CALCULUS AND ARITHMANCY GO TOGETHER LIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY**

"ONE HARRY POTTER WILL BE EXCLUDED FROM ALL STRENUOUS ACTIVITIES. THIS INCLUDES: running around with swords, playing pranks, training with Dumbledore, eating live porcupines,….., and taking showers. Do I make myself clear"

The group was in the Hospital Wing to collect Harry. Poppy had just given them all the precautions for their friend. After signing all the release forms, they finally carried Harry to the Gryffindor common room.

Herm: Are you alright Harry?

Harry: Mommy is that you??

Ginny: Hes delusional

Neville: Clear!!

-tasers him-

Herm: Harry??

Harry: Yes Herm??

Ginny: Oh hes back

-group hug-

Harry: Whats wrong??

Ron: Oh nothings wrong

Lian: You just fell down some stairs is all

Aiden: Not to worry

Shani: Poppy said you should take it easy for a few days

Cathy: But we pleaded with her not to keep you in the Hospital Wing

Herm: We know how you hate it in there

Harry: You guys are great –group hug-

Herm: Harry why don't you go take a nap

Harry: I am feeling a little tired

Ron took Harry to bed and then rejoined the group downstairs

Ron: We never tell him what happened right??

Herm: Right

Lian: Only unless he asks

Aiden: Then we will do the right thing and tell him

Herm: But only what he needs to know

Ginny: Who knows what telling him could do to his mind

Neville: He could fall into depression

Ginny: Commit suicide

Herm: So then don't tell him

Cathy: So...what do we do now

Ginny: Well Poppy didn't say we couldn't play any pranks

Lian: Lets do it

Lian and Herm once again positioned themselves in the Entrance Hall like old times. The only difference was now they were targeting 3rd years. The 3rd years would have just selected their electives for the next 2 years. They set up another booth like before bearing the heading "ALL ARITHMANCY STUDENTS COME HERE". A crowd of younger years came to the booth where pamphlets were being distributed.

Herm: Now today we're also giving a small demonstration

Behind her were a projector and a screen. She flipped the screen and on came the movie

Movie: ARITHMANCY AND YOU!!

HELLO BRIGHT SCHOLAR. YOU ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON THE WONDROUS JOURNEY INTO THE VAST UNKNOWN OF ARITHMANCY!!

SOLVE THIS EQUATION:

Herm: Whered you say you got this stuff

Lian: From my brother. Hes doing this in college

Movie: BET THAT WAS HARD. I GUESS MOST OF YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY. ONCE YOU GET INTO HIGHER YEARS, IT WILL BE MUCH EASIER.

NOW HERES A WARNING TO THOSE WHO HAVE JUST STARTED

Herm: This is for all of the 3rd years.

MOVIE: IN THE MUGGLE WORLD, THERE IS A LIKE SUBJECT CALLED CALCULUS. IT GOT ITS BASIS FROM OUR ARITHMANCY, ALTHOUGH FROM TIME TO TIME, PROFESSORS WILL USE THE MUGGLE CALCULUS BOOKS.

SOLVE THIS CALCULUS EQUATION:

SEE THIS IS HARD. DON'T YOU WISH YOU TOOK MUGGLE STUDIES OR DIVINATION.

BUT DON'T FRET LITTLE ONES, HELP IS ON THE WAY. IF YOU FOLLOW THESE 3 EASY STEPS THEN YOULL BE BREEZING THROUGH CLASS

ACT LIKE A MONKEY AT HOUR INTERVALS. THIS WILL HELP LOOSEN THE NERVES AND HELP THE FLOW OF THOUGHTS RUN FREELY

KISS UP TO HIGHER YEARS, CARRY THEIR BOOKS AND THINGS FOR THEM. THEY WILL HELP YOU WITH YOUR STUDIES. THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH MOST OF THIS BEFORE. YOU MAY FEEL STUPID DOING THIS BUT IT WILL PAY OFF EVENTUALLY

LASTLY, WEAR FRILLY PINK TUTUS AND DANCE LIKE IN CATS OR SOME OTHER MUSICAL. THIS WILL HELP YOU FEEL MORE RELAXED AND AT HOME WITH YOURSELF. THIS IS FOR **BOYS AND GIRLS**

AFTER FOLLOWING THESE 3 EASY STEPS, YOU WILL ON YOUR WAY TO BETTER LEARNING. HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY. THANK YOU

Lian: Did anyone learn anything from that movie??

-cricket chirps-

Herm: Well I hope everyone did

Lian: Now scram!!!

Everyone quickly dispersed with murmurs and one kid crying.

The next day, Harry was walking with the group to lunch. In the hall he saw monkey children and tutu dancers

Random 3rd year: Harry Potter, sir. Would you like me to shine your shoes??

Harry: Uh no

Lian: Uh…Timmy how about that boy over there. Harry doesn't do Arithmancy.

Timmy: Ok

Harry: What was that??

Ginny: Uhhh

Neville: Well youre Harry Potter. I thought you were use to people just walking up to you

Harry: Maybe but it stopped for a while. Everyone here already knows me

Aiden: Well that one just didn't get the chance

Ron: Harry, just be lucky Lian sent him off. He could've been the next Colin Creevy


	10. Xena, Warrior Princess

**NOV 22, 2006**

**CHAPTER 9: I AM XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS **

The tutus and monkeys of the school were beginning to get on Lians nerves. She was starting to think that this plan was working too well. The others must have had better tolerance because they still could laugh at some of the antics of the thirdies but it was just bugging Lian. The next 3rd year that walked up to offering to chew her food for her would get a black eye.

They were walking around when Cathy excused herself to go to the bathroom. The others walked on to the next class. She took her bag with her and changed into her outfit. She grabbed the accessories and exited the room.

"I AM XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS!!! AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI!!!"

Flitwick was teaching his 5th year class for the day when a _scantily _clad girl ran into the room screaming. She had a silver spear and bronze shield and was waving then around like a madman. The boys sat their ogling the girl (remember shes only 2 years older) as she ran around in her miniskirt.

Cathy: It isn't here. I must catch it before it escapes. AIAIAIAI!!!

She ran back out of the room screaming all the way down the hallway.

All around the school there was talk of a hott girl running about the place screaming about foolishness. Most of the boys would have loved for the chance to run into her but she always ran around the corner or screamed about catching something. This frightened some and they walked off and little freaked.

The news reached the group who was sitting at lunch.

Ron: So what exactly do we know about this girl??

Herm: We know that shes dressed inappropriately

Neville: She hott

Ginny: -slaps Neville-

Harry: Shes clearly mad

Lian: Hey has anyone seen Cathy??

Shani: No. Not since she said she was going to the bathroom

Aiden: I know we should have gone with her

Herm: Wait!! What if the crazy girl is Cathy??

Ginny: Why would Cathy run about the school screaming??

Ron: Why wouldn't she??

Everyone else: True

Harry: Lets get her before she does something worse

By now Cathy was on her way to the Astronomy tower screaming. The students just let her go on her way. The group asked and around and finally got to the tower where they saw her.

Cathy: Oh no Ive been spotted!1

Aiden: Cut the act Cathy before you get hurt

Cathy: Never, never. You cant make me. Youll have to catch me first

Harry: Weve really got a mental case on us huh

Ginny: uhhhh

Herm: You have no idea

Cathy: So whatcha gonna do??

Herm: Stupefy

Cathy used her shield to the block the spell, then she jumped onto the railing of the tower and dove down

Herm: CATHY!!!!!

While she was falling, she seemed to materialize a broom out of nowhere and climb onto it. She flew down and then came up to level with the others.

Cathy: Haha!! You shouldve seen your faces. Priceless

Ginny: That wasn't funny Cathy

Lian: What if you were killed??

Cathy: Like Id let that happen

Harry: Sooo….shes not crazy??

Cathy: Nooooo

Harry: So then whyd you do something like that??

Cathy: Because I could. And it was fun

Ron: Ha ha. You've had your fun. Now get over here so we can kill you

Cathy: Not a chance. Bye guys

So she flew off, mostly likely in the direction of the broom shed. The group figured they wait in the common room for their revenge. Lets she how she likes it with a face full of whipped cream and chocolate down her pants.


	11. If you choke a smurf, wat colour wud it

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Nov 28, 2006

**CHAPTER 10: IF YOU CHOKED A SMURF, WHAT COLOUR WOULD IT TURN??**

After they successfully got back at a former sleeping Cathy, they all laughed about it and went to sleep again.

The next day dawned bright and early. Lian and Aiden quickly got out of bed. They grabbed their supplies and ran through the halls.

Lian: After Cathy dramatic performance yesterday, theres no way we can top that

Aiden: Don't worry my dear twin, with this we will once again be the Prank Queens to our Prank Kings

They arrived at their destination. Convincing the others involved in their prank was easy enough. After they finished what they came for, they quickly left with detailed instructions to the others. They ran back to the common room and went back to sleep.

The next morning the group woke up and went outside.

Lian: We talked to Dobby

Aiden: And weve organized a breakfast under the tree

Lian: So we have to get out there now

They made way over to their usually tree but there was no breakfast

Ron: Hey!! You said thered be breakfast

Lian: I guess Dobbys a little late

Aiden: Lets just wait a while

So Dobby appeared next to them, along with a few other houseelves carrying baskets and foodstuffs. What was unusual was that each houseelf was dressed in cloth pants and dresses and they were blue. Few had long white beards that reached the floor and little glasses that sat on the edge of their noses.

Dobby: Hello Master Potter!!

Harry: Hey Dobby. Why are you dressed like that??

Dobby subtly looked towards the twins before he answered.

Dobby: It's a holiday for us houseelves. We celebrate our ancestry.

Herm: Youre related to smurfs??

Lian: Well spotted Herm

Ginny: What are smurfs??

Herm: Ill explain later.

Neville: So smurfs look like this??

Dobby: Yes. They were the first houseelves but over the years we have grown in size

Other houseelves: Yes yes

Shani: Oh Dobby, you guys can put down the food and eat with us

Dobby: Oh you are too kind. You heard her guys, lets eat. We haven't eaten in days.

So the elves sat down with the kids and ate with them. Cathy was silent during this whole exchange. She just kept shooting furtive glasses at all the elves. She hadn't eaten anything.

Harry: Cathy, is something wrong??

Cathy: uhh…no…Harry. Nothing wrong…I mean. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I cant take it anymore.

She grabbed an elf that was sitting next to her and began strangling it. The others tried to pry her hands of the elves neck but they seemed glues on. The elf turned blue (which didn't show up with the blue paint), then purple, then red and lastly yellow before they got her off

Herm: Cathy, what was that for??

Cathy: I don't know. I just cant stand Smurfs and blue and beards and glasses and…..Let me at 'em

The elves took this as they their cue to leave. They quickly grabbed up the unfortunate unconscious elf and disapparated. Cathy was still thrashing, grasping at the air where they last were

Lian: Lets get her to the Hospital Wing

They took up to the Wing and explained the situation to Mme Poppy. While going over the story, Cathy would thrash in the bed where they strapped her down to. Poppy soon stunned her and led the others out of the room while she dealt with another looney student

Poppy: -I think theres something in the water. I need to talk to Dumbledore-


	12. Draco Malfoy and Quidditch

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Dec 9, 2006

**CHAPTER 11: DRACO MALFOY AND QUIDDITCH**

After stopping at the kitchens, with Lian and Aiden apologizing furiously to the houseelves, the group headed back to the Wing to check on Cathy. They talked to Poppy and she told them that Cathy told her of a bad experience which involved a clown dressed as a smurf, fire juggling, a pool and cream cheese (u know that stuff tastes good!!) . She also said Cathy would have to stay for a few more days.

They then went to the Quidditch match. It was between Ravenclaw and Slytherin. They were obviously rooting for Ravenclaw. They were dressed in blue and silver clothes with Ravenclaw scarfs. They sat in the Ravenclaw section and the game soon began.

They were cheering for their favourite Ravenclaw players and cheered everytime Ravenclaw made a goal and booed for the Slytherins. Lian and Aiden soon got up, along with Fred and George and stationed themselves across the stands, except the Slytherin section.

Lian, Aiden, Fred, George:

Look at Draco Malfoy, hes such awful prat

Always looking like he something someone spat

In his exams, you know he'll never pass

This is because we all know

Malfoy takes it up the ass.

They repeated this until others caught on and joined in. It got louder and louder until Draco couldn't take anymore. He got out his wand and flew towards the chorus leaders. FURNUNCULUS (sp).

They each sprouted boils on their face and they stopped but the song continued. The girls screamed out in pain and despair, causing everyone to look at them. –Now they've shut up- The boys grabbed their girlfriends and walked down to the Infirmary tent set up by the pitch for Quidditch injuries.

The others, furious with what Malfoy did began to sing louder. This broke his concentration and he flushed. Knowing he couldn't curse all of them, Malfoy concentrated harder on ending this embarrassing game. He finally spotted the snitch and zoomed over before the other Seeker saw (He was also singing).

He flew down, handed the Snitch to Mme Hooch and ducked out of sight to the showers. The spectators were too engrossed in singing to notice until McGonagall announced that the game was over.

Shani: That was just awful

Ron: Did you see what he did to the twins?? Both twins??

Shani: Yeah. But in his defence. They started it.

Herm: Shes right. That was uncalled for. We should apologize

Shani: You all should

Ron: Im not

Neville: I knew nothing about this.

Shani: But you were chanting too

Neville: Youre right

Harry: Fine then. Where is he??

Shani: Ill go talk to him first. I wont tell him anything about the public apologize. It has to come from your heart. If I tell him, it will seem like I told you to do it in the first place

Ron: But you did –OW-

Shani: He's had a very hard life if you didn't know

Ron: Well we didn't. We were under the impression that he was a rich prat. But then again he is that

Shani: he WAS that. Hes changed. Can you honestly say hes done anything wrong to you this term??

Ron: The term is still young Shani. Were just pressing our luck. Who knows when hell snap. But then again, he snapped today with the twins.

Shani: That wasn't his fault. It was theres for provoking him.

Ron: If he was the better person, he would have ignored them, not caused them to experience facial pain

Everyone else: -snickers-

Author: -snickers-

Shani: Oh Ron you have such a way with words

Ron: -flushes-

Shani: But back to the point, if you, even them, were better people. They would've known not to do that. He was just expressing his human nature to fight back and defend himself

Ron: Im not sure hes what youd call "human", in a sense??

Shani: I don't have time for this. Since I know hes a caring soul, Ill go talk to him. He might do something irrational.

Ron: -calling after her- Yea go save the drowning snake

Shani: -I hope that's not what Im doing-

xuxyxuxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxxxxxpagebreakxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxxyxyxyxyxyxyxyx

In the Slytherin locker room:

Shani: Draco?!?

Draco: We meet again.

Shani: Hey boo!!

Draco: Hey. Do you know this is where you first talked to me, after a depressing Quidditch match

Shani: Yea I know. So how are you??

Draco: After being publicly humiliated I have to say that Im better than I thought I would be

Shani: Im sorry. I didn't know theyd do something like this. They don't usually tell us.

Draco: That's just bad communication

Shani: It happens between friends

Draco: Part of the feeling better about it is that I got revenge

Shani: That would make anyone feel better

Draco: And another part is that youre here with me.

Shani: You make me feel so loved.

Draco,Shani: kiss/makeout (you choose)

Shani: Cmon lets get out of here

They left the locker room and went out to the now empty pitch. They walked up to the castle and went to lunch. They ate in moderate silence until the rest of the group (minus, the twins and Ron, and various boyfriends) sat down beside the couple

Herm: Id just like to say for all of us

Ginny: except Ron

Shani: But don't worry about him. He was a prat anyways

Herm: to say we're sorry for what they said

Harry: We really didn't know theyd do something like that

Ginny: Whenever its something "great", they like to make it a surprise for everyone to get the full effect.

Draco: Well thank you for your apologies. It really means a lot to me

Shani: Told you he was sweet –kiss-

Ginny: Can you keep the PD of A to minimum please though?? We're still warming up to the idea

So ate like they were all best friends and the rest of the day was spent in the Room of Requirement learning more about each other (mostly Malfoy) and playing 20 questions. They all agreed they check up on all parties the next day.


	13. This is Halloween, everybody scream!

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Dec 20, 2006

**CHAPTER 12: THIS IS HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY SCREAM!!**

It was now Halloween at Hogwarts. Time flies fast when you want to finish a 50 item list. The Great Hall was decorated for the festivities with moving skeletons and laughing pumpkins on every inch of the walls. Periodically, live bats would swoop down from the ceiling, startling the younger years.

Previously before Halloween night, Dumbledore had announced a Halloween Ball. This would be for all years. They would come dressed in costume, complete with mask and all, and eat dinner. There would be light dancing and it would end at midnight.

Earlier in the day, the girls were up in their dorms finishing up on their costumes. To give their costumes the full effect, theyd meet up with their dates in the Great Hall. They each gave each other small hints on how to find them without giving too much away.

Each of the girls were dressed up in different extravagant outfits. Lianna and Aiden were going as Yin and Yang twins. Lianna was the Yin part. She wore a white floor length dress with white strapies. She had on gold lipstick and eyeshadow and black eyeliner to make her eyes seem to peak up. She had on a white mask that only covered her eyes with glitter. Aiden was Yang. She wore a black strapless thigh-length dress and black boots. She died her hair black and added in purple streaks. She had purple lipstick and eyeshadow. Her mask covered the top half of face and had black feathers at the top.

Shani was going as a pirate. One time she watched the movie Pirates of the Caribbean and couldn't get out of her head how hott Jack Sparrow was. She was also obsessed with Orlando Bloom but that's another story entirely. She had on the trademark locks with her straight brown hair overflowing above it. She got the hat as well but decided not to wear it yet. She wore the pirate garb and boots, not before accessorizing with gold rings and bracelets. Her makeup was just eyeliner and lipgloss. Plain and simple. Lastly to finish, she had her sword in her belt loop for easy access. She had a black mask that only covered her eyes, with gold around the sockets.

Hermione was going as the Queen of Hearts. She wore a pink floor-length dress with black and pink hearts adorning the side. Her hair was wavy and left cascading down her back. To glamour her hair, the others sprinkled pink glitter in it and she wore a tiara with a pink heart in the center. She wore black strapies and had pink eyeshadow and lipgloss.

She had a pink mask in the shape of a heart with pink glitter.

Ginny was going as a demon. She wore tiny black bat-like wings which were fitted to her black corset top. She wore a leather miniskirt and black leather boots. She had on black lipstick and eyeshadow. She made Herm put a spell on her hair to turn it black and she had it in two messy ponytails on her side of her head. To finish, she wore fingerless gloves that stopped at her elbow. Her purple mask covered the whole of her face and had vampire teeth attached to the mouth section.

Luna was going as Professor Trelawney. After enduring 6 hours of her talking about her various stores and hangouts, she picked up where to get the outfit. Her hair was changed to an auburn colour and was very very wavy. She got the big bug-eyed glasses and the blue shawl. She wore a weird printed blouse underneath and a blue knee-length skirt. (I wont go into detail anymore because everyone knows what Professor Trelawney looks like.) She thought that she didn't need the mask. No one was going to suspect she was Luna.

Lastly, Cathy went dressed as a Playboy bunny (gotta have the Playboy bunny). She had the pink fluffy tail and everything. She kept her make up simple with pink lipgloss and eyeshadow. She really didn't want the mask and didn't care who knew it was her.

Now they were ready. They went down the stairs and to the Great Hall. As they entered, they marveled at the decorations, then went over to the food table for some snacks. By the table they saw a group of boys. One had no hair, one had long blonde hair and the last had short black neat hair. Hermione walked up to the baldy and tapped his shoulder.

Herm: Ummm…hello, do we know you??

Baldy: No…I don't think so

He turned around and that's when she screamed. She was looking into the face of Voldemort but something was missing. Instead of red eyes, he had green eyes behind the mask.

Luna: Harry??

Harry: That's the Dark Lord to you Trelawney

Herm: Wow

Ginny: You are so cool.

Lianna: Whos your friends??

Harry: Oh. This is Lucius Malfoy, my right hand man and Adolf Hitler. Hes my German ambassador

Herm: You do know Hitlers dead??

Harry: Im the Dark Lord. You think I wouldn't know when my counterparts are dead?? Get real.

Neville: Hey Ginny. You look so evil

Ginny: As don't you. Hitler doesn't look so scary

Herm: If you knew what he did, even without magic, youd think hes scary

Shani: Lucius Malfoy?? Father of my boyfriend Draco Malfoy??

Draco: I would prefer if you not call my son that. Call him "the greatest boyfriend in the world" please

Shani: But of course. Now lets dance Malfoy.

Draco: With pleasure

As Voldy and Trelawney, Malfoy and Sparrow, and Hitler and the she-demon went onto the floor, the others stayed at the table, snacking and talking. Then Hermione spotted a red-haired Dracula in the distance. The Dracula also spotted them and walked up to Hermione.

Dracula: Milady, did you see a ravishing lady come by her. Im in the mood for blood and I don't think shed appreciate if I bit anyone else.

Herm: Damn right she wouldn't. But Im sure she wouldn't mind if you danced with me

Dracula: Fine. But its on your head if she comes back

Now it was just Cathy and the twins. And they waited. And waited. And waited. They were just about to give up and find other people they could dance with when an announcement came overhead.

Announcement: IF THERES DRAGON AROUND

OR SOMEONES GOT YOU DOWN

ITS ALL FOR ONE

AND ONE FOR ALL

THE THREE MUSKETEERS

NOT THE CANDY BAR

After this was said, smoke filled the room. Several people coughed and then before materialized their dates.

Fred: My fair ladies –bow-

George: Now wheres that dragon??

Cathy: If you don't take us to dance now, your gonna see one

Oliver: Well we wouldn't want that now would we??

They took them onto the dance floor where they had a grand time.

Somewhere nearby:

Voldemort: Wormtail, are you sure this is safe??

Wormtail: Of course my lord. Everyone is in the Great Hall. Dumbledore held a ball for the students tonight

Voldemort: Excellent

They silently broke in through the Entrance Hall. Outside the doors to the Great Hall, Voldemort turned to his men.

Voldemort: Alright, this is what we've waiting for. A time when they are unguarded. We will take them by surprise, especially one Harry Potter.

They pushed the doors with a great force. Everyone turned to stare at the group but then resumed to their dancing

Voldemort: Uhhh… Wormtail, what just happened??

Wormtail: Seems as if they don't see you as a treat

Voldemort: Well we'll just have to do something about that, now wont we

He marched the group up to the platform and spoke into the mic

Voldemort: uhh…is this thing on?? –feedback- Well… I am Voldemort… and Ive come to raid your school

The student body stared at him for a few seconds and then laughed. After that quieted down, they went back to their previous things.

Voldemort: Wormtail…is there something on my face?? Am I losing my edge??

Wormtail: No my lord. This is a Halloween party. It seems as if they just see you as another kid dressed in costume

Voldemort: There are costumes of me?? After this we are going out to buy one. Better yet, youll go out and buy one

Wormtail: o.O

Voldemort: Since no one taking me seriously, I wont trash the place. Theres no fun if no ones gonna stop me. Lets just grab Harry and go.

Wormtail: My lord, he may be in costume as well

Voldemort: Well then you better use that one brain cell and go find him. I'm gone over to the snack table for some free eats.

As Voldemort stalked off to the table, the DEs split up in search of the Boy-Who-Lived. It was hard, what with the dragging off of masks and occasionally when they'd mistake a girl for him and get a slap to the face. Wormtail was looking extra careful for the boy –maybe this will finally get me in the lord's good books- He was looking around when he saw Voldemort talking to Lucius Malfoy.

Wormtail: Malfoy, what are you doing here?? Arent you supposed to be back at the headquarters with the prisoners??

Draco: Ahhh…Yes, I should be but the Dark Lord called me at the last minute. Guess you didnt get the memo.

Wormtail: My lord, we still haven't found the Boy-Who-Lived, but we are still looking.

Harry: I send you to find something and you come to me without it. Remind me to Crucio you later. Let me help you along though. Through my cunning and expertise, I have found out that the boy is at the snack table. Quickly bag him and head back to the headquarters. If I am not there in 5 minutes leave without me. Im thinking of grabbing a few more snacks before I leave

Wormtail: Yes my lord.

As Wormtail scrambled to find a few DEs to help him bag the boy, Draco turned to Harry.

Draco: What is Pettigrew doing here??

Harry: He said he was looking for me. We handled pretty well though

Draco: Indeed. I think I see Voldemort stuffing his face at the snack table

Harry: I know. I saw him earlier over there, but I thought another kid stole my costume.

Draco: Disgusting. What a way for an overlord to conduct himself

Harry: Its truly revolting.

After they laughed it off, they went in search of the others and took to a part of the Hall furthest from the real Voldemort, incase the DEs get mixed up again. They then told them the story, with Hermione reprimanding for not telling Dumbledore immediately.

With Wormtail and the DEs:

DE #1: Are you sure that's him??

DE #2: It looks like our lord

Wormtail: Of course it does. That's Potters costume. Now bag him on 3. 1… 2… 3

They threw the huge garbage bag on top of Voldemort

Voldemort: What is the meaning of this??

Wormtail: Run hurry!!

DE #1: What about our lord??

Wormtail: He said to go without him

They ran out of the hall, pass the apparition points and vanished with a pop and an aggravated scream.

Later that night:

The 3 DEs (Wormtail included) are hanging in the dungeons by their arms above the ground.

DE #1: Of course he said. Bag him he said. Go without him he said

DE #2: Its all your fault we're about to die now

Wormtail: -whimper-

DE #2: Suck it up dickhead. Take it like a man

Voldemort: There I was, snacking at the snack table. One of the only times when no one recognizes me. And then Im bagged like a common grocery item.

Wormtail: My lord, I was only doing as-

Voldemort: Did I say you could speak?? Crucio

Very well, now I wont dispose of you yet. If you haven't noticed, Im low in numbers. Me, taking out my own numbers, doesn't help that problem. So for now you still have your uses. But you will not go unpunished. Crucio

He casted the Crucio on each of them, all the while inspecting his nails (I really need a manicure).

Voldemort: I will let the others in to have their fun.

The prisoners were in for a long week.


	14. Dude, Get a life!

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Dec 20, 2006

**CHAPTER 13: DUDE, GET A LIFE!!**

After the ball, Dumbledore called the group of teens to his office

Dumby: Please, sit down

Draco: Ummm…sir, there aren't enough chairs

Dumby: So sit on the floor –kids today don't use their heads- Lemon drop??

Everyone: No

Dumby: No one ever takes the lemon drop. Well I called you all here because I have just heard about the DEs that came on Halloween night

Harry: Sir, that was 2 weeks ago

Dumby: I am aware of that Harry. But Ive just heard of it so its news to me

Draco: But youre Dumbledore. You should have known about this days before Voldemort even thought of doing it

Dumby: I don't get why everyone looks at me like Im a saviour, a know-it-all. If you want a know-it-all, theres the buck-toothed beaver right there. If you want a saviour, the Boy-Who-Lived is sitting in this room. I am but a simple old man trying to make a living off a headmasters salary

Herm: Don't headmasters make a lot??

Dumby: -ignoring comment- But I called you here because I want to know why no one was killed. If someone died, then I would have heard of it sooner

Draco: Sir that was because we sent them away

Dumby: Without a proper fight??

Harry: The DEs mistook me for Voldemort because I was wearing a Voldemort costume. I told them to bag the real Voldemort and take him back to their headquarters. It is safe to assume that they are being tortured as we speak, or dead.

Dumby: Awww… but I wanted to see fighting. No matter, now it has also come to my awareness that because of his failed attempt at capturing you, he will try again tonight, only this time, since I want to watch, youre gonna fight him

Harry: So youre purposely gonna put me in harms way, where I could be killed, just so you can get some entertainment??

Dumby: Yeah

Harry: Im game. Anyone else??

Everyone: Of course

Dumby: Its this Friday at 8 –handing them tickets-

Harry: We'll be there

Friday at 8:

Wormtail: So my lord, when do we strike??

Voldemort: The fool Dumbledore sent me an owl saying tonight at 8. He also said to bring popcorn

Wormtail: So we sit here until 8??

Voldemort: What is up with the stupid questions?? Of course we sit here. Goyle, pass the popcorn. Stop hogging it.

Wormtail: But master, its 8 now

Voldemort: -mouth stuffed- Really?? Lets move men

They marched up to the doors and opened like they did 2 weeks ago, only this time the only people in the room were the group.

Voldy: These are the only people who show up to welcome me?? Am I not important enough!?!? Now you see why I put on all that weight and went on Oprah

Wormtail: Uhhh…my lord, the fight

Voldemort: Oh yeah, Cru—

Dumby: Hold it. Theres only one way to settle this once and for all. A Yo Momma contest. Loser gets wiped off the face of the earth for ever.

Harry: Uhh… when you say loser, do you mean me or Voldemort or DEs and my friends??

Dumby: Why should your friends be included?? Its just you or Voldemort. Do you agree to the terms??

Everyone except Voldy and Harry: Yeah!!

Dumby: Then let the battle begin

Harry: Yo mamma so fat, she walked into Sears and they said "Try the Home Depot down the block

Everyone: Ohh!!

Voldy: Yo mamma so stupid she sold her car for gas money

Everyone: Oh!! Weak!! Whats a car??

Harry: Yo mamma so fat, her beeper went off and people thought she was backing up

Voldy: Yo mamma so fat she went to a Quidditch game and sat next to everyone

Harry: Yo mamma so old, I told her to act her own age and she died

Voldy: Yo mamma so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Harry: Yo mamma so stupid, she got looked in a supermarket and starved

Voldy: Yo mamma so flat, she has to walk by twice just to cast a shadow

Harry: Yo mamma so bald, you can see whats on her mind

Voldy: Well yo mamma…, your mother is… oh screw you

Harry: Hey dude, get a life. You go around ruin everyone elses. You don't bathe, brush you hair (but you have no hair) or your teeth. I can see why no woman wants you. But then get a hobby, snorkeling or something. Just get your own life for once.

Dumby: And the winner is Harry Potter of Hogwarts

Friends: Yay Harry!!

Dumby: Voldemort, any last words??

Voldemort: Uhh…bye

As they ran off like little girls, Dumbledore pointed his wand at them "Abracadabra". The spell hit a lone DE that obviously never got the message and he vanished, leaving a black spot where he stood.

Dumby: Well, that was entertaining. Now I have to go meet up with Poppy and Minnie

Ginny: What for??

Dumby: Uhh…teacher business

Ron: But Mme Pomphrey isn't a teacher

Dumby: Get to your beds now. Curfew has just been shortened to 8: 14. Now up, up up.

As he was shooing the kids up the stairs, a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs fell out of his robe pocket. He quickly picked them up, stared at the kids weirdly and then ran off in the other directions. The kids, each silently agreeing to never speak of this night again, slowly made their way up to the common room.


	15. And your lucky numbers are

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Dec 22, 2006

**CHAPTER 14: AND YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS ARE…**

A/N: I find it ironic that this chapter deals with some part of luck and chap 13 is supposed to be bad luck. Just an observation.

After the Yo Mamma battle, nothing exciting happened. The group fell into a slump until finally it was another Divination class.

They went up to the classroom meeting up with Ryan, Luna, and…

Herm: Roxanne!! I didn't notice you took this class

Roxanne: Hey, this is the only class I take with you since they combined them all

Ginny: Come sit with us

As they took their seats at the table, Trelawney glided in from her office. Her magnified bug-like eyes wandered from student to student until she said

Trelawney: Ok young minds and future Seers, dazzle me

She flitted from table to table, making corrections here and there until she came up to their table.

Trelawney: Well… go ahead

They all looked sheepishly at her. They were too busy chatting that they apparently hadn't heard what they were supposed to be doing. That is, except Roxanne. She suddenly said

Roxanne: May good fortune come you way…

Trelawney: Ah!! I see the beginnings of a true Seer. That was good for your first try darling.

She then walked off without saying another word. Kinda of weird of her not jabbering on about someone dying by flying pig intake. After coming over that small shock, the group focused their eyes on Roxanne. Roxanne held up her glare with them

Ron: First, there was Luna with 'according to the prophecy' which was cool by the way. And then there was Cathy with her 'Magic 8-ball'. That was cool too. Wheres your hidden Divination A ticket??

Roxanne: Fine, you caught me. Here

She brought from under the table a bag of crescent-shaped cookies. On the outside of the bag, it had one of the cookies with a paper sticking out a tear in the middle. The paper read "FORTUNE COOKIES" and was surrounded by some Chinese symbols. Each person took one for closer inspection.

Neville: What are these??

Roxanne: Theyre a muggle invention. Inside each cookie, theres a paper and it a vague ini-fortune on it. What I said earlier to Trelawney could range from Voldemort vanishing off the face of the Earth, to simply waking up tomorrow. Depends on what the fortune reader sees as 'good fortune'. Oh I didn't finish. My lucky numbers are 29, 31, 8, 3, 30

Ron: What are those??

Roxanne: I don't really know. I hardly read them

Te rest of the class was spent with Lianna, Aiden and Ron smashing all the cookies on the desk with their Divination books, eating a few, Ron spitting them back up after Hermione joked that they weren't meant to be eaten and just laughing at the various fortunes.

Soon class was over and they continued their day regularly.


	16. I love the dancing Peeps!

**A LITTLE LESS THAN 50 THINGS TO DO AT HOGWARTS**

Dec 31, 2006

**CHAPTER 15: I LOVE THE DANCING PEEPS!!**

They went to Charms class the next day. Today they would learn about animation

Flitwick: Animation, the subtle art of making inanimate objects move. It is quick simple actually. The words are "Locomotor". Combine this with a simple vertical wave and there you have. Ms. Granger??

Herm: Sir, theres another spell called "Locomotor Mortis". Are they the same??

Draco: Of course theyre not the same Granger. One stops, the other goes

Harry, Draco: -hi5-

Herm: -glare-

Flitwick: Malfoy is right

Draco: I am?? I mean… of course I am

Flitwick: Locomotor literally means Move. Locomotor Mortis means Kill movement. So in simpler terms, one stops, the other goes. Now one your desks are some objects. Practice the spell and then we move on to willing the object.

They all got out their wands and began practicing. Herm got hers easy. The others… not so much.

Lianna: Oh screw this. Im hungry

She reached into her bag and brought out a purple coloured box. Inside were marshmallow chicks of yellow, cyan and purple.

Draco: Peps??

Aiden: Peeps!! Here try one

They distributed them to their friends. The unfamiliar ones cautiously chewed the sweet until grins spread across their faces.

Ron: That good. Can I have another??

Lianna: No!!

Ron: Huh??

Lianna: Theyre my classwork

She put the yellow peep on the table and said the incantation. The peep slowly started moving until you actually heard peeping sounds. It turned to Lianna hungrily.

Lianna: Awwww. Hes so cute

Aiden: I wanna try

Cathy: Me too

The others grabbed up the remaining peeps and did the same. Soon each person had their own chirping peep in front of them. Flitwick returned back to the centre of the room.

Flitwick: Now, willing the object is a little difficult. You have to focus on what you want it to do and that alone. Then say Sequi with a horizontal flick. Now try

Lianna turned her chick first and followed Flitwicks orders. She concentrated hard and then said Sequi. She opened her eyes and saw the little chick dancing with a small top hat and cane.

Aiden: Awwwww that so cute

Herm: Lets form a chorus line

They all did the same and soon they had their own chick dance class. Flitwick was coming to inspect them.

Ron: Quick, hide the peps. We're supposed to be working

Lianna: Hey be careful. Hes special

While Ron was stuffing them in his shirt, he bounced Neville, who's head was resting on his hand. His head hit the table and his wand fired a spell at Ron.

Flitwick: Well, what's going here??

Herm: Look professor

Hermione distracted the professor with her talents. Ron was shifting in his seat

Harry: -whispers- Calm down Ron or youll blow our cover.

Ron: -whispers- Sorry…but the peeps aren't keeping still…Ahhh1!!

The peeps burst out through the top of Rons clothes. It seemed now their were more, and they were huge. They were larger than your head. They flew around the room with their marshmallowy wings until each was on a desk. They all stopped and then began dancing again.

Flitwick: Ahhh!! Get away!! Get away!!

Flitwick tried shooing the birds out of the room but it seemed they could not see him, or were just ignoring him (Draco: Smart birds). They danced for a while and then all of them sat squat in the table. It was silent for a minute then the birds took off to the ceiling where they exploded. It rained peeps from above (but these didnt move). The group grabbed some, as did other students who knew what they were. After some prompting from their friends, every student was stuffing their faces with peeps.

Herm then remembered the eggs the peeps had laid. She picked it up that was on her table and shook it. The whole class watched her then she used her ruler and forcibly hit the egg. A hole formed in the top. Hermione reached in and dipped her hand. She then licked her fingers and exclaimed "ITS CHOCOLATE"

The other tables quickly grabbed up their eggs and partaked in the sweets. Flitwick just watched them, eating peeps (hes allergic to chocolate) After everyone was stuffed with candy, the bell rang. Slowly everyone left the room, sleepy-eyed after eating that many sweets.


	17. Cage Death Match

**CHAPTER 16: CAGE DEATH MATCH!!**

It was break time at Hogwarts. The students were relaxing in their 40 minute period of the lack of class. The group were outside by their tree enjoying each others company, except for Cathy.

Cathy was just restless today. She had woken up late in a bad mood. Then she stubbed her toe on her night table. Then there was no hot water left. After she came out, she realized that no one was else was there. She looked to her alarm clock and saw that she only had 5 minutes until her first class, not including breakfast.

She sprinted down to the Great Hall and saw few people. She looked to the Gryffindor table for some food, but only found leftovers and some unidentifiable sludge. She spotted an apple on the Ravenclaw table beside it and quickly grabbed it, running out of the hall.

She made it to the door of McGonagalls classroom. She was gonna try to sneak in through the door, knowing that its chance of success was small. She took a deep breath then crouched down low. She turned the handle on the door and pulled it to her. She then quickly moved to hide behind the door.

Professor McGonagall was teaching her class when her door mysteriously opened. –Must have been the wind- She told the students to practice the incantation and made her way to the door.

Cathy waited a few seconds before McGonagall looked out the door. While she was distracted, Cathy quickly crawled from behind the door. As McGonagall checked her former hiding place, Cathy slipped into her seat beside the twins.

After finding nothing out of the ordinary, McGonagall turned back into the classroom, reclosing the door. Now she felt something was new in her class. She looked about the room but couldn't pinpoint the difference. Shrugging it off, she returned to the front of the class and finished the lesson.

Now Cathy was still vexed. McGonagall seemed to have finally realized what was wrong and called her after class to give her a detention for tonight and tomorrow night. She tried to be happy now with her friends, but it seemed it just wasn't her day. If only she could make others as despaired as she was. Then she thought of it. She just needed an outsider or two.

Cathy: Guys I got to go… to… the… bathroom. Yeah the bathroom

Ginny, Herm, the twins and Shani get up

Cathy: Alone!!

**Girls dejectedly sit back down on the grass**

Cathy ran up to the castle in the direction of the Ravenclaw dorms. She hoped they were somewhere nearby. She ran up to the portrait and asked for Ryan and Roxanne. The portrait said they were hear and that shed call them. Cathy waited a few minutes before they came out.

Ryan: Hey Cathy!! Whats up??

Cathy: Nothing. Todays just not my day

Roxanne: Why not??

Cathy: Woke up late, stubbed my toe, no hot water, no breakfast, and detention from McGonagall for being late.

Ryan: Oh man… sucks to be you

Cathy: Thank you. But now Ive thought of a way to make others feel my pain

Roxanne: That's not nice Cathy. Can I help??

Ryan: Me too

Cathy: Of course, that's why I came. Now lets go.

The group was sitting by the lake when a first year came by giving them a letter. It read:

**I am requesting the attendance of all 7th year Gryffindors to a meeting in the 2nd Charms room at 1:00. Please be punctual. I also want to see Ms. Weasley and Ms. (Shani)**

**Signed**

**Minerva McGonagall**

**Deputy Headmistress**

Herm: Shouldn't she have signed this??

Ron: Maybe she was in a rush

Harry: Cmon. Lets go now. Its almost 1.

In the Slytherin common room:

A scared first year came up the group of Slytherins, consisting of Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Millicent, Crabbe, Goyle and Montague (I wanted one more Slytherin in this part of the group) He quickly handed them a letter and then ran off.

**I am requesting the presence of all the 7th year Slytherins for a meeting in the 2nd Charms classroom at 1:00. Please be punctual.**

**Signed**

**Severus Snape**

**Potions Master**

Pansy: Why wouldn't we meet in a Potions classroom??

Draco: I think theyre being used today

Blaise: Wonder what its about

Draco: How the hell should I know Zabini. Lets get the others.

Millicent: Fine

They rounded up Daphne Greengrass, Theodore Nott, Warrington, Marcus Flint and Adrian Pucey. Then they headed up to the Charms floor.

Cathy had taken the necessary precautions. She wrote the letters, giving one to Roxanne and Ryan, who gave to the unsuspecting first-years to give to the victims. Then they headed over to the Charms room. They picked this one especially because it had 2 doors. She coloured one red and one green, knowing that her 2 sets of victims would only choose their corresponding colour. She cast a spell on the inside of the room to keep it dark.

She exited the room and met up back with Ryan and Roxanne. She had 30 minutes left. Now she had to make it public to the students but not the teachers. That would be a small problem.

After finally getting that out of the way, she made them come 10 minutes before 1:00. That meant the letters were just getting to the victims. The stands she had set up in the enlarged classroom were bathed in an orange glow, though the platform would remain dark until the entertainment arrived. The spectators would also be hidden from view of the fighters.

Cathy didn't know how she did it. Maybe its because she was fueled by her pissed-ness. Maybe because she had enlisted the help of 2 smart Ravenclaws in her plans. Maybe its because when she was bored she read spell books exactly for this purpose of revenge. Whatever it was made this a great idea. They were even making money by selling snacks and refreshments. They decided to split it up 50-25-25, Cathy getting most because it was her idea to even do this. Now she just waited for the entertainment.

Gryffindors:

On the way to the classroom, the group met up with Parvati, Lavender, Dean and Seamus.

Seamus: Did you get a letter too??

Harry: Yeah we're on our way

They came together and went to the classroom. They saw the red and green door and chose the red one, obviously. They went into the extremely dark room.

Parvati: Where are the lights??

Neville: I don't know

Slytherins:

They got together and went up the stairs to the room. They chose the green door and entered the dark room. They moved around, their hands in front of them

Pansy: Its dark

Draco: Thank you Ms. Obvious

Blaise: I think I hit something

Ginny: Ahh!! Something hit me

Daphne: Who said that?

Ginny: Ginny Weasley. Who are you??

Draco: Ahh!! Blood traitor

Shani: And that's none other than my boyfriend Draco

Draco: Shani??

Shani: Yes??

Draco: What are you doing here??

Shani: I don't know. You??

Draco: Slytherin meeting

Ron: You mean Gryffindor meeting

Pansy: We got a summons from Snape to be here at 1

Herm: As did we from McGonagall

Dean: I think this was all a set up

Seamus: But whod set us up?? We're not even in this story for more than a chapter

Parvati: I don't know. Im sure the suthor will soon tell us

(Pause)

Millicent: So much for that idea Patil

Neville: So what do we do??

Montague: Lets get out of here. I cant stand being in the same room as these Gryffindorks

Harry: Like we like being here with you filth

They went to their respective doors but they wouldn't open.

Draco: Why… wont this… fucking… door… budge??

Ginny: Use magic dipshit

Draco:… didn't work smartass

Ron: Now what!!

Herm: We must be in here for a reason

Warrington: Tell us then o great mudblood

Herm: I think the only way we can get out is if we do.. something

Lavender: What??

Herm: I haven't figured that out yet

Draco: The only time your brain could have actually helped us

Herm: You got any better ideas

Parvati: You know the lights still aren't on

Montague: Oh no. Another genius. First Pansy, then mudblood, now the twin hoe

Parvati: You did not just call me a hoe?? Im not a hoe

Montague: Didn't seem that way when you met up with me 2 nights ago for-

Parvati: Shut up. That was one time. I was desperate

Montague: You were always desperate

Parvati: You asked for it.

The spectators were enraged. It was a little funny at first when they were all confused, but now it was just boring. They just sat on the floor talking. They could see them although they knew they couldn't see them, or each other. They were all just about to get up when Cathy shouted look. They all turned back and watched as Parvarti launched at Montague. At once, all the kids looked up like the light had finally come, although they still couldn't see that they were being watched.

Herm: The lights are on

Draco: Another brilliant moment

Herm: Ok that's it. Im done with just letting you people insult me like this.

As Hermione ran at Malfoy who had seen her and was ready, Parvati and Montague continued to fight. The Gryffindors tried to tear Hermione off Malfoy. The Slytherins seeing that their fun would be ruined all turned on the Gryffindors. The matches were:

Parvati and Montague, Hermione and Draco, Harry and Blaise, Lianna and Aiden with Crabbe and Goyle (they got brawn but the twins are way smarter), Ginny and Shani with Pansy and Millicent, Blaise and Harry, Ron and Warrington, Theodore and Dean, Marcus and Seamus, Daphne and Neville, and Lavender and Adrian.

The spectators were now in a frenzy, cheering on their favourtie winners. Cathy had the ideas of taking bets on which house would win out. It was evenly decided between Gryffindor or Slytherin. She too took some time to watch, alongside Ryan and Roxanne.

The fighters were getting tired, though they wouldn't give up. The battle raged on until Parvati finally kicked Montague in the balls. He fell down in pain where she smartly got out her wand and said Stupefy. After he was knocked out, she went over to Lavender where they teamed up on Adrian, successfully taking him out too.

Neville tried but he just couldn't do it. Daphne was smarter than Neville and lighter. She moved with fluidity in her steps. One thing Neville did have was strength. He had to resort to fist fighting for most of the fight. But it wasn't enough. Daphne quickly moved a little distance away and then said Rictumsempra. It blasted Neville into the opposing wall where he got knocked out on impact. She ran over to Crabbe and Goyle who looked like there were losing badly.

Soon only Draco, Hermione, Lianna, Blaise, Ron, Harry, Daphne and Montague were left. They paired off again with: Draco and Harry, Ron and Montague, Lianna and Daphne, and Hermione and Blaise. They raged an raged until it was just Hemione, Lianna, Draco, Montague and Blaise.

Montague: Youre outnumbered girlies

Blaise: Give up now and we might go easy on you

Lianna: Hold it.

Draco: What now?!?

Lianna: Do you even remember why we're fighting in the first place??

Blaise: Because we hate each other??

Lianna: Hmm… that's good enough for me. I just needed a reason

Lianna nodded at Hermione and then together they said "Slumberus ahora". Instantly the boys were overcome with fatigue and dropped to the floor sleeping.

Herm: That was … wow

Lianna: Ya. You go girlfriend

Herm: Right back at ya

**hi5**

The spectators applauded for their win. The losers were vexed with their loss, showing it by booing. Cathy gave out the winnings, keeping a good amount for her and her Ravenclaws. As they filed out of the room, she went out of a side door down to the platform to stall Herm and Lianna.

Cathy: Hey guys (looks around) what happened here??

Herm: Howd you get in??

Cathy: The door was open and I heard noises

Lianna: We could be heard??

Cathy: Yea

Herm: I hope no professors heard us

Cathy: I don't think so. Flitwick didn't have any classes and the other professors usually stay on their floor. So what happened??

Lianna: We were locked in here with the Slytherins

Herm: One thing led to another, insults thrown in, and now this is where we are

Cathy: (truly worried) Are you hurt??

Herm: Not really. Just a cut above my eye

Lianna: I got some kicks in my ribs though

Herm: I think the others need some medical attention

Cathy: Cmon we'll tell a teacher

Herm: What are we gonna say? "We were locked in a room and beat the pulp out of each other"

Cathy: Ok…umm.. how about we say we were attacked in the forest by animals. When they check and nothing there, we say that they already moved off.

Lianna: That's believable.

Herm: Lets go

So the 3 went to the professors with their story. Few questions were asked because there were more pressing matters, like the students health. The girls offered to carry the bodies to the Hospital Wing. Once there, Pomphrey worked on them morning and night. In all, they all stayed there for 5 days. The forest was investigated but nothing was found.

After dropping off the injured, Cathy went back to Ryan and Roxanne. They counted out all the money, which equaled 2937 galleons. They divided it up, making it secret that the group was never watched. They thought they wouldn't appreciate knowing that they were put in Hospital Wing for the entertainment of people and money.


	18. This is Paintball

After spending her money on a plasma screen to go in her room and telling everyone she entered a sweepstakes at Hogwarts, Cathy spent much time with her friends watching American Idol and Americas Funniest Home Videos

Neville: I love that Chinese dude. He sings like me

Lianna: Uhh… Neville, that's not a good thing

Neville: I know. But he can be famous, that means I can too

Ryan: Whatever floats your boat Nev

Ron: Americans are stupid

Aiden, Lianna, Shani: Hey!!!

Cathy: Hes right though

Aiden: We know

Lianna: That doesn't mean he has to say it though

Today was classes again. After their final class (Defence), the group was walking back to their common rooms to put down their bags before heading for dinner. The Gryffindors had already taken the turn to the stairs to the Gryffindor common room and the Ravenclaws were heading past Flitwicks classroom.

Roxanne: Hey guys, I have to see Flitwick about an overdue homework assignment

Ryan: Ok, well meet up later

After making sure Ryan and Luna had walked around the corner, she ran off in the opposite direction

Roxanne: Peeves!!! Peeves… where are you??

She was walking past a tapestry of Mildred the Mild when Peeves suddenly popped out

Peeves: You rang??

Roxanne: Peeves?!?!?! You scared me

Peeves: I know. Now what does Ms. Lady-girl want??

Roxanne: I have a proposition for you

Peeves: What kind of proposition??

Roxanne: How would you like to reek more havoc?? Havoc no one at this school has ever seen??

Peeves: Ooohh Peeves would like that very much, Ms….

Roxanne: Ms. Monty

Peeves: Oh yes Ms. Monty… wait… whats the catch??

Roxanne: The only thing is you cant hit me, but you can hit everyone else. Also, you cant let anyone know I gave you this

She reached into her bag and pull out a neon coloured missile launcher. She then took out some little paint-filled bags and then said a spell over them.

Roxanne: In the muggle world, this is call a paintball gun. You put the paintballs in here, pull the trigger and fire

Peeves slowly floated down and took the gun from Roxanne

Peeves: Oh thank you Ms. Monty. You have my word

Roxanne: Good. Peeves, I want you to reek as much havoc with this as possible

Peeves: You know I will

As she was walking back to the Ravenclaw common room, she said over her shoulder "I put a charm on them so they'll never run out. So you wont have to come back to me for more"

Peeves: Thanks again Ms. Monty. Come now Peevsy, lets go find some firsties

The Gryffindors were walking back down to the Great Hall when they heard screams a few hallways ahead. Rushing to the rescue, they came upon the sight of some fellow Hogwarts students running from Peeves, hands above their heads. It seemed that Peeves had a missile launcher of some sort that fired colours, as apparent by the splatters on peoples clothing

Harry: Peeves!!!

Peeves: Yes Pothead??

Harry: Whered you get that thing??

Peeves: Ask me no questions and ill tell you no lies

Harry: Stop it Peeves

Peeves: Oh I think I wont

Peeves then shot paintballs at the group, who tried in vain to repel the balls but it had no use. Magic didn't work either. It seemed that wherever Peeves got the gun, also stopped magic to affect it. But who would just leave a gun like that lying around when Peeves was always an earshot away…Unless it wasn't forgotten but given. Now who did they know that would give Peeves a paintball gun??

Everyone: Roxanne

Harry: Peeves, wheres Roxanne??

Peeves: Shes neither here nor there

Harry: peeves!!!

Peeves: Nuh huh

Ginny: Feel the wrath of Bat Boogies

Giant flying bat-shaped boogies started flying at Peeves. Even he couldn't escape them.

Peeves: AHHH!!! Call them off

Ginny: Did Roxanne give you this??

Peeves: Oh Ms. Monty… forgive me

Aiden: Lets get her!!!

They ran through the halls until they got to the Great Hall, where they Ryan, Luna, Roxanne and Draco sitting at their usual spot at the Ravenclaw table.

Herm: Roxanne!!!!

Roxanne: Take a chill pill Hermy. Whats up??

Draco: Whats up with your clothes??

Ginny: Why does Peeves have a paintball gun??

Draco: Paintball??

Shani: Think about it and it will come to you

Draco -1..2..3- Oh

Roxanne: How should I know??

Herm: Well there muggle. Peeves shouldn't have that

Roxanne: Maybe some muggleborn firsty left it lying somewhere

Ginny: Also Peevsy mentioned your name

Roxanne: Damn you Peeves

Herm: Why!!!

Roxanne: Because its fun. Hey do you guys wanna play on the weekend

Lianna, Aiden: Sure!!!

Everyone else: uhh…

Roxanne: Don't worry about it

So that weekend, they all put on T-shirts and shorts and the protective padding. Roxanne had brought enough guns for everyone (my dad owns a store that sells them) and they divided into teams. Team A- Harry, Ginny, Roxanne, Ryan (who had a little difficulty with holding the gun), Luna, Shani ; Team B- Hermy, Ron, Draco, Aiden, Lianna, Cathy.

A giant scoreboard floated above their playing field that had both individual points and team points. The time was set for an hour and a half and they began.

In the end, Team A had won, with Ron getting the most points

Ron: Who knew paintball was so much fun. Im gonna challenge Peeves one day.


End file.
